What If

What if.

Two words muttered by every individual about a current or past relationship since the dawn of time.

Personally, I'd like to think that over the years of dating and good old adulting, I have learned to put the what ifs to the side. I mean what good does wondering do for you anyway? Grey hair is not welcome here yet!

I'm more of an action person these days so typically if I want something I tend to go out on a limb and give it the good old college try. But, I think some of you can agree, sometimes those what ifs can slip right in and throw a serious wrench in your perfect, pretty, peaceful little mind.

I found myself in a what if situation recently involving a friend and someone we both mutually liked. Life is short, people would tell me, go after what you want. But for some reason the what ifs crept in my mind.

What if... I upset a friend?

What if... I overstep my boundaries?

What if... It doesn't work out?

As incestuous as the lesbian community is, it isn't really my cup of tea to step on someone else's toes when it comes to women.

Nonetheless, the what ifs popped into my mind (oh, the life of an over thinker!), and I decided: f*** that! If we're friends, then a simple conversation can't do harm. So, mid-conversation, I got real and laid it out there.

Well, it turned out no one was upset. She was relieved I actually shared my true feelings with her and whether things are to work out is still a mystery, but at least I can sleep easy at night while I wait and see.

As someone who believes in Fate and yes, the ever so cliché "everything happens for a reason", I tend to shy away from letting what ifs control my behaviour.

But, if you've got a little doubt on the brain, then take a moment to clear it! 

I'll leave you with a quote that is my personal dialog daily : 

"What if I fall ? But my darling, what if you fly?"


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