Checking in...



So it has been almost a month since my last post, and I think I can safely say that
this period was among the most challenging of my life. As usual, I am relieved that the worst is (very hopefully) behind me. I celebrated my birthday Saturday and am beyond ready to turn a new page in my life. I am determined for the year ahead of me to push myself hard enough to achieve my goals, fix the areas of my life that need serious fixing, and have stable, balanced relationship with the people in my life rather than living in the fear that fights might erupt at any moment.

Meanwhile, here are a few things that happened in the last month or so, for those who don't follow me on Instagram, which I still update regularly:

I've survived the past month thanks to my friends, some who are spread all over the world, tea, dark chocolate , Harry Potter, Wagner, and optimism. My motto has become "dum spiro spero", or "as long as I live, I hope". And also "amor vincit omnia", "love wins all".

Oh, and as to the doodle above, I have done it a with an iPad app called SketchBook. I've always wished to have enough drawing skills to make comics or illustrations, but as you can see from above, my "style" is very approximate. Then again, they do say that art is subjective, no? Not to mention I couldn't find my stylus so I did it with my finger. I'll maybe do some more. In any case, the drawing illustrates my state of mind of about two weeks ago.  I had reached my breaking point, feeling depressed and hopeless and hysterical. The heavy snow falls weren't helping since I couldn't drive anywhere and was completely isolated. I reached out to very dear friends, one of whom told me to just breathe, and do something nice for myself each day.

Funny enough, the universe has its ways of putting helpful little signs on your path. After four days of remaining in bed, I had to go to CVS for necessities (chocolate, headache medication, tampons, etc). I decided to treat myself to a new nail polish, the name of which seemed to beckon me.

Oh, and I have also gotten even more into paganism, which is the belief system I find myself completely fitting into. I went several times to Sacred Circle in Alexandria to get candles, various crystals, herbs and such, and I can tell you that this works if you believe in it. I remain Cartesian, essentially, but I believe in miracles and in the possibility to modify the course of things, and bring blessings towards us. I'll maybe elaborate later.

Predictably enough, I treated myself to a Medieval Cat Tarot deck. Learning the meaning of the Major Arcana cards was rather quick, and the readings I've done for myself have turned out to be scarily accurate...

So yeah, this is all for now!

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