Ugly Days Happen, and I Don't Care.

September 30, 2014
#NoMakeUp (and forgive the chipped polish!)

Most days I am quite lucky to wake up refreshed and feeling beautiful. I do not necessarily forego my beauty routine, but do not cringe as I look at myself in my bathroom mirror.  

And then there are days where I wake up on the wrong foot, resenting everything from the alarm of my phone to the light that filters from the blinds, and let this feeling ruin every single thing, whether it is some weird universe trick-playing, Karma, or my subconscious mind. I drag myself to the bathroom, where even a warm shower cannot soothe me, then realize that a pimple appeared on my forehead and my foundation won't hide it or even cover my skin properly. I start obsessing over facial hair that seem to have grown overnight. The bright fluorescent light doesn't help. And catching my profile in the mirror, I wonder if I should bond more with my Lebanese descent by getting plastic surgery all over. My hair is a dry, static mess, as if I never got the Keratin treatment that made it so silky and smooth this summer. As I dry my skin to get dressed, my thighs feel fatter than the day before, and all I see is cellulite.

And then I tell myself, fuck it all. 

When I am able to cancel all my commitments for the day and stay at home, I give up the idea of looking perfect for that day, and cuddle in my armchair with a fuzzy blanket, a cup of tea, opera, and a novel. Or Netflix. I declare that the ugly day will morph into a cozy one, where I am excused to fully relax and let everything go (Jesus, not that bloody song again! Predictably stuck in my head now... Arrrgh. #IfItIsNotOperaThenItIsIntellectualTerrorism). 
I don't care whether I look like a mess, my hair feels like straw, and my nail polish is chipped. No one is here to judge (not that I care much, honestly), and most importantly I am not judging myself today. 

Sometimes these feelings that something so trivial is so utterly wrong are a sign that we need to slow down, relax, and take the time to "faire le point", as we say in French. Ultimately, I know that the feelings of "ugly" will be gone at the end of the day. 


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