Sonushka is back!

June 01, 2013
Ah, my dears, I have missed you!

I must say, this hiatus from blogging was rather beneficiary. Whether it's a paradox to have a blog and feel relieved to take a break from it, or whether it's the root of a deeper problem, is not the question for now. I guess when something stops bringing you as much pleasure as it did, the best thing to do is to take a step back and reevaluate it, and then decide what to do with it.

In any case, I am back; to blogging, and in DC as well. So, you'll ask, what happened of my Montréal adventure getaway?

First, I managed to get distance from drama in DC that had gotten overboard. I finally lived on my own (well, with two amazing male flatmates, to be correct, but they were gracious enough to be friendly while nevertheless respecting my space and privacy when I needed this). I made my own rules, had my privacy, didn't have to justify every move I took or live under heavy stress. So it did me some a lot of good.

Also, being away from DC, where I practically know everyone and everyone knows me, allowed me to be more true to who I am. I didn't have to lie anymore regarding what I do, what I intend to do, who I chose to love, etc. I was a new, unknown person, and I didn't have to hold up to a persona that wasn't part of me anymore or risk dealing with gossip, or even potential scandal.

I made a huge leap on my novel. I cannot say I've completely finished it, but I'm getting closer every day. It has become part of me, and I do not hide anymore the fact that I'm a writer; I'm more comfortable talking about it to people who ask me.

I was also very lucky to spend time with very dear friends from high school, and make new ones. The girls at Alpha Omicron Pi are just amazing!

And now you'll ask me, what about the main reason I moved to Montréal? Being reunited with my Beautiful Love?
Well, as you've probably noticed, it didn't go exactly as planned. And it took a toll on our relationship. As the end of my stay in Montréal came closer, I took my disappointment out on my partner, who, to be fair, was not really responsible for this situation. We bickered, even fought, lost patience, apologized, fought again, apologized, promised to minimize drama, started envisaging what to do if we didn't see each other at all... I did seriously wonder at some point (following the advice of friends who saw how unhappy this situation made me) if it wasn't best to break it off; if all this was an obvious sign that we weren't meant to be; whether someone else could make me happier. The thought of was so unbearably painful.
And then a miracle happened.
On May 22nd, 2013, (Richard Wagner's 200th birthday! Coincidence?), we saw each other again. After nearly nine months of waiting, of canceled plans, of disappointments, of resignation, but also of hope, faith, and love.
And it was magical. All the doubts I had about that wonderful person's real motives, goodness, all was gone, and what remained was love. Love, powerful and limitless, and the blind trust that comes with it.
So I realized that instead of regretting what didn't happen (living six months in the same city), I should be grateful to destiny, life, God, whatever you want to call it, that I have been so blessed and lucky to have this most wonderful being. To see, touch, kiss, hold my beloved in my arms, even for just a few hours, was the best moment of my life.
And I am so grateful.
And my faith in our future, no matter how unstable it looks at the moment, is renewed.

PS: Stay tuned tomorrow for a photo update of the past few weeks! Also, do check my Instagram 30-day back in DC photo challenge!
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